Blasphemy
by MagicalBender
Summary: Blasphemy: (Eleven on Rose) - Her name defeated the devil himself. It was the name that kept him going, the name that instilled fear in Daleks, and love in everyone else. The only name he'd ever believed in. Yet, in his weakest point, it rolls of his tongue like a curse. Complete.


Blasphemy

_Blasphemy_: (Eleven on Rose) - Her name defeated the devil himself. It was the name that kept him going, the name that instilled fear in daleks, and love in everyone else. The only name he'd ever believed in. Yet, in his weakest point, it rolls of his tongue like a curse.

* * *

The words rolled out of his tongue with a bitter residue.

"I could be helping Rose Tyler with her homework!" he spat at the face of Maldovar, who looked unimpressed with the Doctor's rather childish tirade.

The Doctor soon regrets the moment the words come about. He didn't have time to think about it then, with another "end of the world" crisis in his hands. He placed his worries out of his mind as he continued on his mission. He soon forgot about the incident, and began to focus his time on the present mission.

However, the words spoken out of desperation and vice returned to haunt him. It came quite unexpectedly, just as his sporadic visits to the Ponds.

He was visiting an old friend. She was a brilliant writer, and working on a novel about an orphan who worked as a governess, and falls in love with her employer, a man twice her age.

There was tea, and talk of possible aliens hiding in attics and such, when she suddenly mentioned her sister Anne, and a piece of work she admired immensely.

"It was a lovely line, Doctor," she said with a gentle smile. "Truly, it's only upsetting that I didn't think of it before."

"And what witty line did dear-old Anne come up with this time?" he asked with a loopy grin.

"It went along the lines of something like, 'But he who dares not grasp the thorn, should never crave the rose,' I think it describes Rockchester's fault very well, don't you think so, Doctor?"

How could he be so careless?

He had to immediately excuse himself from his friends company, saying that the Tardis was releasing some sounds only the great ears of a Time Lord can catch.

He inhaled deeply, making sure the air reached the tip of his lungs, and attempted to miserably clear his TimeLord brain.

Now in the Tardis, he sat silently in front of the screen. The orange and silver Tardis softly humming a consolation he will never make out, his brows crease in contemplation, eyes shut.

He didn't mean to. He was afraid, angry, confused, desperate, and just being himself.

How could he?

He growls, and shakes his head to the side. Eyes open, he stares at nothing in particular, but sees every memory that passes his mind. Like a newsreel, but more colorful, sharper, and painful.

There are reasons why he doesn't talk about her, or mention her. It was one of the many ways the Doctor coped with losing those he loved. Her especially. He made sure no one knew her name. Reasons being much more selfish than what most would imagine.

Because words cannot describe, the once his, Pink and Yellow girl. No words, signs, hand gestures, or rolls of the tongue and computer in the entire universe could ever do her justice.

Rose Tyler. The name echoed throughout the entire universe with different titles; Bad Wolf, the Doctor's Companion, the Defender of the Universe, The Pink and Yellow Girl. The only human to have taken in the Time Vortex and leave traces across the galaxies; present, past, future. The only name that can make Daleks tremble with fear, and take down Satan himself.

The only name the Doctor ever will, and always will, believe in. His love for the girl is still there, but it was now more a slow and quiet simmer in the veins of his hearts. A contrast to the animate, and passionate affection that conquered his ninth and tenth regenerations.

And he used her name in sacrilege. In his desperation to prove a point in his might and power as the last Time Lord, the Doctor used her venerated name, like if it was just anything in the world he could utter at any point in time and space and fear no consequences.

It was like Time Lord Victorious all over again. Only this time, it was not time and events he changed.

He grimaced, completely disgusted with himself. Loathing filling every pore, and guilt, in every cell, he swore to amend this faux.

He had to make this right. Not to himself. He was never worth the trouble.

But for her.

* * *

**_Edit 9/ 5/ 13_**

******_Hello there! I came back to edit this little thing, because my sister did NOT approve of all the errors I had on it :S I fixed it! I wanna give a HUGE THANK YOU to everyone who favorite, liked, and reviewed! I know a lot of you asked for me to extend this, and I DID say I would if there was a demand. However, my sister and I agreed that it would be better to leave it here. Sorry! However, I hope you can still enjoy it _****_J Thanks again! _**

_**A/N: I know, I know. MB! You got a Mericcup fic to work on! Well, you see, I've just settled into my dorm, and there was no internet on the first day. I had a lot of widows of research and stuff for the feast scene, so it was useless to work on that. I've had this little thing on my mind for WEEKS. Ever since I saw the episode actually. It REALLY bothered me, and I just had to write something to fix it. I kinda left it as a one shot, but let me know if any of you lovely readers are interested in more. Thanks for giving it a shot! **_


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